I am having panic attacks about school.
Not because I can't do well.
Because I have become widely unliked by other undergraduates in my major. I have, because of my friendship with two other students last semester, gained a reputation ass being stuck-up and being a puke-y kiss up.
These things shouldn't matter to me, but they really do. Between that and the new higher cost of tuition--and with me being claimed as a dependent of my stepdad's, I am not eligible for financial aid until next year, never mind that he does not help me out with school at all--I am feeling sick over something I absolutely love. I know that's a character flaw on other students, not my own. And to be honest, I was a little uncomfortable being friends with said couple anyway. They are, to be totally honest, brutally stuck-up. Being someone with a perpetual feeling of inferiority, that's foreign to me, and frankly I felt kind of "safe" as their friend, simply because they couldn't talk shit on me when I was with them (and talk shit they certainly did, I'm sure of it.) I don't like this kind of shit, I thought the whole clique thing would be behind me--or at least just at work. It's silly to ever think that, but still.
That's all for this little red chickie today.
Cheers
creepy stranger post for you! (*lol*)
ReplyDeleteSadly, throughout all life there will be cliques. I hate it too. I'm 24, stay at home mom, have 2 kids and encountered cliques at my weekly mom's group/ mall walking. How stupid is that?! It annoyed me so badly that I stopped going. I'm not the "mom's group" type anyway!
Thankfully, as people get to know you, they will learn that they were wrong about you and I'm sure they'll get to like you. I already do after reading a few posts!! It sucks that people judge you by association and you're right, it shouldn't bother you but that doesn't change the fact that it does. My best advice is to just be yourself, try to branch out to other people. All it takes is for one person to say "you know, she really -is- a cool chick" and the rest will follow. Anyways, I'm sure that -everyone- doesn't dislike you! :)
Well howdy!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the clique thing I guess never goes away. It makes sense, considering that forming cliques was likely important to human survival back in the day when, say, the "humans vs. nature" fight was weighted on nature's side...but nowadays, they just kind of suck. I can only imagine the cliquishness of a mommy group...little ones bring out the competition in some gals, for reasons beyond me (maybe it'll change when I have kids, I don't know!)
Thank you for that. I know it's highly unlikely that as many people dislike me as I think. Most people probably are totally indifferent or unaware of me, which I personally find preferable to disdain...
And thank you for reading my posts, and I am glad you like them! I've been lurking here for a while, and it's incredibly flattering that someone's whose blog I am a fan of actually read my two-post wonder :) You made my day, Ms. Thang! :)